The life of Nymphadora Tonks
by Magnolia Mae
Summary: Untold story of Nymphadora,covers her time at Hogwarts.REVIEW!
1. The begining

**Summary:Stories from the time Tonks was in Hogwarts.  
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It was a beutifull day. And a normal busy day going on in Kings cross station - atleast for the most of the people. In there, between the plattforms 9 and 10, there was a family with read hair and used clothes. For two members of this family this was`nt a normal day, and theyre family aren`t exactly normal either. One at the time they seemed to disappear, but people didn`t seem to notice. All of them seemed be too busy to take a closer look at these people,even when theyre clothes didn´t mach and one of them had an owl. These are the people that are called muggles,which basically means that they have no idea about the fact that magic exists.

Soon the red haired family had arrived to the plattform 9 and 3/4. Infront of them was a long blac and red-colored train,and this train will soon take them to Hogwarts,the school of witchcraft and wizardy.

"It`s almost time." announced Molly Weasley." Bill,take care of Charlie for me,will you?And Charlie,send us an owl as soon as you have a chance to. We wanna know everything about your first day."

"MOTHER!!!I`m not a kid. And don`t worry,I`ll be fine." Charlie said irretatedly.

"Oh come on dear.I`m sure they`ll be fine." said the boys father.

"I know,Arthur.I`m just so worried." Molly said. Then she gave both of her sons a big hug and then watched when they left. Charlie and Bill waved theyre family a goodbye from the window,and then went looking for free seats.

* * *

At the sametime in the opposite side of the train was a young girl,who just had found an empty carriage and sat fell in to her thoughts.

_"Oh why,why,why,,,I`m not even in there yet and already I managed to make a fool of myself..Why do I have to be so clumsy..It was SO embarrasing..And people were laughing..Not exactly ste start I hoped."_

And while thinking of this her hair chainged colour from brown to navy blue. When she realized this she immidiatly changed it back. This girl is a metamorphmagus,means that she can change her apperiance at will. But unfortunatly she doens´t have the power completely on control. Then the door was opened.

"Excuse me,are these sits taken?"

The girl looked towards the door and saw two both had a red hair and they looked very much alike in other ways aswell,propably brothers.

"Everywhere else is full" said the one who seemed to be older.

"No,they aren`t." the girl answerd watched how the boys took theyre stuffs and put them on the shelf,and then sat down.

"Is this your first year?" the older boy asked.

"Yes" she answerd.

"Mine too.I`m Charlie by the way. And this my brother Bill." the younger boy introduced himself and his brother.

"Nympahora Tonks" Tonks said and blushed.

"Interresting name. How did you get it?" Bill asked.

"I have no idea, but just call me Tonks ok?"

"Sure"Charlie said and the boys started talking about their family. After explaining all about them they asked about Tonks`s.

"I have no brothers or sisters." she said shortly.

"Do you have any idea about the house you could be in?" Charlie asked.

This was definatly the question Tonks didn`t want to give an answer. Her mother had told them how all the people from Black family usually goes to Slytherin. She didn`t want to be one,but she might not have a choice.

"No idea." she answerd.

"Well it´s true though,you can´t really say anything before youre sorted. Our parents were in Gryffindor and that´s where I am aswell." Bill said."What was your parents houses?"

But then Tonks´s hair colour changed and it seemed to take their mind of the subject.

"How did you do that?"Bill asked admirably.

"Do what?" she asked.

"Your hair..it changed colour.."said Charlie.

"Not again.." Tonks moaned and changed her hair back to normal.

"I`m a metamorphmagus." she said when she saw that the boys were still staring." Means I can change my appereance at will." she explained when the boys didn´t seem to understand."I don´t have the total control yet so thats why it sometimes just happens."

"That´s the coolest thing ever!Your´e propably going to get straight O´s from professor Mcgonagals classes. Transformations are going to be a piece of cake for you." Bill said.

"I`m not so sure about that.I´m not that into books." Tonks laughed,and so did the boys. Then the door was opened by the lunch lady.

"Anything for you kids?" she asked.

* * *

It was starting to get dark. Tonks ,who already wore the schoolcloak,turned around and closed her eyes while the boys changed. And soon the train stopped. Bill already went ahead and Tonks and Charlie heard that someone was calling the first graders to gather around. They went to the direction of the voice and saw a tall man,with black hair and brown jacket.

"That´s Hagrid. My brother told me about him. He said Hagrid is really nice." Charlie whispered to Tonks´s ear. When everyone had arrived they walked to the boats and sailed to the castle. When they got in there was a teacher with glasses,and black hair in a tight bun,waiting for them.

"Good evening first graders and welcome to Hogwarts." she said and explained them that they were going to get sorted soon and told them to wait for her.

"Do you know how are they going to sort us?" Tonks asked from Charlie when professor Mcgonagall had left.

"Bill told me something shit about fighting with a dragon...Yeah right. Like they would really put beginners fight with one." he answered. For a moment they stood without talking. Then professor Mcgonagall arrived and lead them to the Great hall. When they looked up they first tought that there are no roof at all. Then they realized that there was a spell which showed them a sky full of stars. The older student stared at them when they were standing infront the teachers table. Between the teacherstable and the first graders was a chair and a very old hat. They didn´t have a chance to think about it´s meaning, when the hat started to sing. After it finished the song the students and the the teachers gave loud applauses.

"Ha.I knew it." Charlie whispered to Tonks."We only have to sit and the hat will tell where we are going." started reading students names. The nerves hit on Tonks when she was thinking that soon will be her turn. She had trouble keeping her hair normal-coloured but somehow she managed to do it.

"Nym..Nympha.." Mcgonagall strugled." Nymphadora Tonks.." she called.

"Just Tonks,please" said Tonks and sat to the chair and the hat fell in to her head.

_"Another Black...Interesting..You are quite smart but no..Ravenclaw is out of question.I dont´t think that you are a Slytherin either..Quite brave too, so I would say...But where to put you...Hmm..All right.I think I know what to do with you..HUFFLEPUFF!!"_ the hat shouted the last word and Tonks took a seat from the Hufflepuff table where she heard cheering. After that she watched how Charlie took his place as a Gryffindor.

Later Tonks and the other first year Hufflepuffs followed the prefects to the commonroom. And feeling relief that she wasn´t a Slytherin,she fell asleep.


	2. Rumors

_"Oh no.I overslept!"_ Tonks was thinking while running in the corridor. Then she realized she had no idea where she is. She noticed that she has only five minutes to find the classroom,or she´ll be late in her potions lesson. When she hurried the stairs she fell and went throw something cold, like a cold water or something.

"Are you ok there?" said a ghost who just had noticed Tonks,who was lieying in the ground.

" I´m fine..But I have no idea where I should be. Could you please tell me the way to the potionsclass?" Tonks asked while she stood up.

"Follow the corridor,then stairs, turn left and then the stairs will lead you to the dungeons. The room will be infront of you. And a little advise; professor Snape is not a teacher you wanna mess with." the ghost answered.

"Okey thanks..uhm" Tonks started.

" Sir Nicholas de Mimsy-Porpingtong." the ghost said.

"okey..well thanks." Tonks was already running as fast as she could. Three minutes later she was infront of the right room and a second later the teacher opened the door.

_"Huh..I made it"_

_

* * *

_

" Miss Tonks, what do you think this mess was suppose to be?" Snape asked sarcasticly,45 minutes later.

" A potion,sir." Tonks answered.

" Well tell me, is there a mistake in your potions book or did you leave part 4 of purposly when you tried to make the potion?" he continued with a ironical pitch in his voice.

" No. Sir." Tonks answered and tried to keep her face as blank as possible.

"What a shame.I expected something more from a Black family member, but obiously you don´t use your head anything bigger than changing your haircolour. You remind me of your mothers cousin, Sirius. There was a another one who couldn´t understand the art of potion making." Imediatly when Snape had said that the other students stared whispering with eachother. Tonks opened her mouth to say something,but she closed it. It was no use to get in trouble and nothing she said would change anything.

After they wrote down all of their homework, Snape gave them a permission to leave. Tonks packed her books and left the classroom. When she walked in the corridors she heard the students from the class talking in small groups.

" A Back..Did you hear it. I had no clue.."  
" They are in the dark side.."

"..she´s related to Sirius Blck, the murderer.."

" yeah..the one in Azkaban."

This was worse than she could have ever imagine. She knew that this would happen if the people would find out. She headed to the transfiguration courtyard early and tried not to listen the gossips.

* * *

" Well done miss Tonks." professor Mcgonagall said in the end of the next lesson. Tonks was the only one who had completed the transformation assigment they were given. "10 points to Hufflepuff." professor Mcgonagall said and even smiled to Tonks.

After the schoolday Tonks walked to the Great hall. Then she remembered what Bill had said in the train,and smiled. Transfigurations seemed quite easy,though this was only the first lesson. When she got to the Great hall she heard how many of the students were talking about a new Black girl in the school. Tonks didn´t feel hungry anymore so she turned around and walked away. She was too upset to keep her hair color brown and soon it changed to grey. A girl group infront of her saw it and looked at her like a some sort of freak."Thats her..the Black girl..Do you see her hair..That can´t be normal." they were talking. Tonks couldn´t listen that anymore. She ran outside of the castle and found a peacefull place near lake. Then she sat down and started crying. Everyone seemed to think that she´s as evil as all the others in her mothers family,and no one didn´t give her a chance to show what she was really like. Everyone had jugded her without giving her a chance.

"Tonks?" asked someone behind her. She turned her head and looked at Charlie Weasley,who looked like he had been there a while."What happened?" he asked and sat next to her.

"I knew this would happen. Everytime when people hear that I´m related to the Black family, no one wants to be around me." Tonks said and tried to wipe her tears away, but there were to many new ones coming.

" So,that´s why you haven´t said anything to me and Bill. You tought that we wouldn´t want to be your friends after we knew this." Charlie said. "But you know, I don´t care who your related and neither does Bill." Charlie continued. Tonks raised her head and looked at his face. He was serious. Charlie really meant that.

"Thanks." Tonks said."I´m sorry I didn´t tell you." she apologized from Charlie.

" No reason to say that. I understand. After I saw how the other students reacted I knew why you didn´t want to tell anybody." Charlie said and took a handkerchief from his bag."I think you need this." he said and gave the handkerchief to Tonks. For a while they just sat and watched towards the lake.

"Well..Now when you know that you can trust me and my brother,,,no more secrets,ok?" Charlie said.

"ok." Tonks answered and smiled." Friends?"

"Friends." Charlie said and huged Tonks. Tonks felt so much better that she wanted to get rid of the grey hair color. She closed her eyes. And the next time she opened them, her hair was bright, bubblegum pink. And since this day, everytime she was extremely happy or exited, her hair can be seen in this very same colour.


	3. A girl in trouble

After finishing her homeworks Tonks decided to explore the castle. She walked in the corridors in her thoughts. She stopped and looked at sun set from the window. It looked so beutifull. She fell deep into her dreams. Thirty minutes later she noticed she should be in the commonroom just about..NOW! She took few steps and then someone behind her called her and she turned around, and saw five Slytherin boys with prefect marks in their cloaks. Tonks cursed in her mind._"I´m in big trouble."_

"You´re Nymphadora Tonks right?" one of the boys asked.

" Just Tonks." Tonks answered.

"No need to look so shoked. We won´t tell anyone that we saw in this hour. We wanted to talk to you. I know your family. Your aunts Narcissa and Bellatrix are friends of my mother." the boy said.

"Great. So,was that it?" she asked shorly.

"I was just wondering how did you end up in Hufflepuff. I think there must have been some sort of mistake. Why would a Black should be in that kind of bunch of losers." the boy said mockingly.

"Well it sure beats being a Slytherin." Tonks said and her hair changed to red.

" Oh..I see. You enjoy being a loser.I thought that the fact of you being half-blood could be covered by the fact that you come from such a good family,but maybe I was wrong. And that hair thing can´t be normal either. Freak." the boy said and the other ones laughed.

" Yeah,,well maybe my power would be a better fit for you. The possibility of changing apperiance would be usefull to someone as ugly as you." Tonks flicked.

"Stupid too I see. Come on. Let´s teach this little loser a lesson. After this she should know how to respect the better ones."the boy said and smiled.

"I sure hope you don´t mean you and your little group. If youre the greatest thing a human can be, I´d rather be a loser." Tonks said. The boys took their wands. Their leader raised his wand and was ready to cast a spell when someone behind them shouted _"Petrifus totalus!" _and the boy fell on the floor.

"If I were you, I´d leave when I still can." the attacker said and pointed the Slytherins with his wand. The boys decided it´s best for them to leave.

* * *

"Are you ok?" he asked from Tonks.

"Yeah.I am. Thank you so,so much.I don´t even want to think about what would have happened to me if you..thanks Bill." Tonks answered to Bill Weasley.

"No problem..a little advice:as long as you don´t know anything about fighting,just..stay as far away from those people as you can. Lets go. We shouldn´t be here at this hour." Bill said and the two of them started to walking.

"What were you doing outside?" Tonks asked.

" I was visiting Hagrid with Charlie. He had to leave earlier cose he has a mountain of potions homework to do." Bill explained."Do you wanna hang out tomorrow,with me and Charlie?" he asked.

"Uhm...yeah. Sounds good." Tonks answered.

" Great. So,see you at five in the boathouse." Bill said and waved his hand as a goodbye."Good night" he said.

"You too."Tonks answered and watched how Bill walked away. Then she hurried to the commonroom.

* * *

**The next day**

A girl with white hair ran throw the transfiguration courtyard. She knew she couldn´t keep on running for ever,but she was too scared to think about a better way to handle the situation. And the fact that she was scared was the reason for her white hair.

" Yeah you´d better run. You think that we´ve been bad but this time there is no one who would come to your rescue."

Tonks speeded up. Unfortunatly she tripped in the next stairs and crashed straight in to professor Snape, who fell in to the floor.

"Miss Tonks, what do you think you´re doing?" Snape muttered between his lips, and stood up. Before Tonks had time to think about an explonation one of the Slytherin boys appeared around the corner.

" Oh,Good afternoon professor." he said as politely as he could."This is the girl we found outside last night. She didn´t come with us when we asked her to turn herself in so we had to force her. Then she started running."

" In that case,well done.20 points to Slytherin. You can go." Snape said to the boy and he walked away. When he left there was a moment of complete silence. Tonks knew there was nothing she could say. She would rather die than tell Snape why she was running and even that wouldn´t change anything.

"Detension. My office. Tomorrow evening at seven." Snape said and left. Tonks stood still for a moment. Her heart was pounding very fast after the running and becose of the reason why she had to do that. Then she remembered that now she has a detension with Snape too. Not good. She watched the clock. _"Oh no.I should have been in the boathouse 25 minutes ago!"_And she started running - again..

Five minutes later Tonks arrived to the boathouse.

" Where have you b...?" Charlie started but then he couldn´t go on. "What happened?" he asked instead.

" You look like you´ve,,,I don´t know." Bill said. He couldn´t find the right words.

Tonks sat down. And looked at the water. She couldn´t find the right words to describe what had happened. Suddenly she felt like she was freezing. She could nearly breath.

"She´s in shock." Bill said. Charlie took his jacket and gave it to Tonks.

"Come on. Breath. Take your time. And when your ready, we´ll listen." Charlie said. For a moment Tonks sat quietly. Then she told everything to the boys. After the story no one said anything. She didn´t want to start crying again, but she knew she couldn´t do hold the tears long.

" I can´t take this anymore." she said and a tear fell from her eye. She turned her head so the boys couldn´t see that. When she watched the boys next time there was no sign of tears in her eyes.

" We know." Charlie said."But what should we do?"

" We?I think you should stay away from me. If people see you guys hanging out with me they will treat you this way too." Tonks said. " And besides, there is nothing anyone of us can do to change this."

" Tonks, we´ve been over this. We´re friends and nothing will ever change that. Now you just gonna have to start trusting us. We won´t leave you." Charlie said.

" And there is something we can do." Bill said. " I have an idea."

"What??What kind of idea?" Tonks asked.

"I´ll tell you tomorrow." Bill answered.

"Why can´t you tell now?" Tonks asked.

"Becose I need to find a place for ..This is the part when you trust me.. and now..We have to get going." Bill said.

"What?Where?" Tonks asked.

" To Hagrids. We told him yesterday that we want to introduce you." Charlie said. Tonks looked a bit unsure. "Come on. It will be fun."

"Well..A little fun would be nice." she answered.

And the three of them started walking towards Hagrid´s hut. Bill knocked the door.

"I was already starting to think that that you wouldn´t come after all." Hagrid said when he opened the door.

" Sorry for being late. We had this thing to take care of." Charlie answered."This our friend,Tonks"Charlie introduced.

"Nice to meet you." Tonks said.

"You too." Hagrid said. They shaked hands and Hagrid took a step aside so they could get in.

* * *

The evening was the best that Tonks had since she started at Hogwarts.

"So youre Nymphadora Tonks." Hagrid said when they sat down to the table."I heard a lot about you. I knew Sirius. Your mothers cousin. He used to spend almost as much time here than doing pranks at the castle. I understand that you don´t want people to see you as the Black girl, but just remember- your family doesn´t define you as a person." he said. Tonks looked suprised. It was completly unexpected.

They sat around the table talking for long time. And later when they said good night to Hagrid he had already invited them to tea next weekend.

When Tonks went to bed that night,she was able to forget the fact that tomorrow she had to do Snapes detension. Maybe it will be better after all. And then she fell asleep.

* * *

**The next evening**

After exhausting detension listening Snapes sarcastic comments about her and her family,Tonks had a meeting with Bill and Charlie. And two and half hour later she went to the Hufflepufs commonroom. She didn´t want to go sleeping before the others in her dormitry were asleep. Thats pretty much the only way she liked those girls..when couldn´t talk. She watched the fire and smiled. With those spells she had just learned, her life might finally be happier.


	4. The pain in my heart

A fourth grader girl was sitting alone in the libary. She had been reading for hours but she had know idea about this fact. She always read alot and she was completely focused on the book. She had been reading since the school day ended. When you hear a girl who reads this much you would think that the student is a Rawenclaw,but Nymphadora Tonks isn´t. But still she did this every day. And she had been this way for quite a long time.

She heard someone coming. The sound of the steps stopped between the bookshelters in her left. Then she heard about half a dozen people clapping.

"Hey Charlie!" she heard a girl saying.

" I would so not want to be that bookworm-freak right now." said one of the boys."Humiliating her so bad.. half of the students saw that."

"And not even one teacher near by." the girl said.

Tonks rolled her eyes. She knew way too well what they were talking about, and she didn´t want to listen when people were milking the situation this way. She took all of her stuffs and walked away from the libary. When she was walking in the stairs she tripped. Her bag was open cose otherwise she couldn´t carry all of the books she needed._"Not again."_she was thinking while she tried to get all of the books back to her bag. The last three didn´t go in so she had to carry them in her hand. She went to the only place she knew she could be without anyone else. She went to the 7th floor and stopped infront of the painting were Barnabas the Barmy tried teach trolls how to do ballet. She walked back and foth three times, and a moment later her hideout in the room of requirement appeared.

This room was the only place where she could be without having to listen the students laughing and talking about her. She didn´t have to shut her ears from the rumours and gossips. And it was the only place in this school were she could sit and relax without anyone making fun of her. Thanks to this room she didn´t have to spend her time in the Hufflepuff´s commonroom and the girls dormitry. If she wouldn´t be afraid to let people know about this room she would bring all of her stuffs there and use it as her room and never enter a foot to the common ever again. Which she definatly would love to do. When she was trying to find the right book from her bag, her diary fell to the floor.

When Tonks noticed her diary on the floor she waved her wand and the diary flew to her hand. While in the air something fell between the pages. An old picture. About her first year,when she actually was friends with Bill and Charlie. Now days Tonks found it hard to believe that she was ever friends with Charlie. Yesterday`s humiliation proved that she had made a huge mistake by spending time with him. She ripped the photo into pieces.

Her life was terrible indeed. Since the first week in the first year she couldn´t go anywhere without hearing people badmouthing her. She was tortured and humiliated so often that she was almost starting to get used to it. Thanks to what happened yesterday she had no intension going to leave the room of requirement. In the worst situations she used the room for few days, so it would give her time to think. When she had finished the book she said three times in her mind_ "I hope that there would be a bed in here." _and soon a comfortable bed appeared out of nothing. After she had turned of the lights she started sleeping.

* * *

The next day at eleven Tonks finally woke up. This is one the best things about this room. Tonks was always the last one who came to the dormitry (when she didn´t sleep in the commonroom) and the first one to get up. Every weekend she came here and left the room only to get some food from the kitchen. 48 hours without the other students is the reason why she could pretend that she didn´t care about everything they have done to her. After listening music for three and half hours Tonks decided to go to the kitchen to get some food.

When she was in the 6th floor someone called her. Reluctantly she turned around and saw the person who had called her. Then she turned around again and walked as fast as she could without starting running. The boy ran infront of her.

"Tonks,please. Can we talk?" Bill asked. Since Tonks was in the second grade he had been the only one who talked to her like a normal person. But thanks to Bill´s brother Charlie, Tonks didn´t want t be around him either.

"Why?" she asked."There is nothing to talk about. And besides I´m busy." she continued and kept walking.

"With what?" Bill asked. Tonks stopped.

" That´s none of your business. Why don´t you go and talk to your precious brother instead,and leave me alone." she said and continued walking.

Bill ran next to her and said " Tonks. It´s not my fault. I didn´t set you up."

Tonks took a breath and stopped. She turned her head towards Bill. "I know. But what do you expect me to do?You don´t have a clue how hard my life is, even when Charlie is not doing his childish pranks on me."

"You´re right. I don´t know what it´s like, but it must be hard. Just watching you´re eyes makes me see that. They show that your suffering" Bill said.A laughing group of third grade Hufflepuff girls went by."Loser!" one of them said to Tonks when they passed her. Tonks closed her eyes and started slowly counting to ten.

"They´re gone." Bill said. Tonks, who had only counted till 7, opened her eyes, swallowed once and kept walking in the empty corridor.

"That hard, huh?" Bill said quietly. Tonks turned around and walked to him.

"Seriously,what do you want?"she asked.

"I just wanted to tell you that I think you should talk to someone. I think it would help if you. And if you wanna talk to me,you know where to find me." Bill answered.

"So you wanna listen, huh,,,Do you know how hard it is when you can´t go anywhere without someone talking about you or trying to make fun of you. Getting tortuted and isolated. It´s like I´m not worth living. Like I´d be something really dangerous and I´m gonna pollute everyone who comes too close." Tonks said. She took a few steps and watched the lake through the window.

"It feels like,,Someone would take your heart and cut it to pieces. And then sew the pieces back together and put it back where it belongs, but forgot the center. And then everything in your life is painful. Just an empty shelter..and you don´t know how to change that."

Neither of them said anything. For a moment they just stared out of the window.

"I gotta go." Tonks said and walked away.

"Bye." Bill shouted after her,but she didn´t answer. She went to the kitchen,waited when the house-elf´s made food and packed it. With the food she headed towards the seventh floor. When she was climbing the 5ft floors stairs a boy with red hair walked towards her with a broomstic in his left hand, and he looked very embarrassed when he noticed Tonks.

"Tonks,I,,," Charlie started but Tonks alreaydy pointed him with her wand.

"Save it. You are going to pay for that little prank." she said.

"Tonks, it was only ment to be a joke." Charlie said with an implory tone of voice.

"A joke!What kind of a human would possibly think that as a fun joke?!" Tonks said,still holding tightly to her wand.

"It went a little out of control. The girls got little carried away." Charlie said.

" Yeah, just blame the others. Nothing is ever your fault is it?" Tonks said and stopped pointing Charlie with her wand. "Lucky for you, I´m the opposite, And unlike you, I have a heart." she said and walked away without casting a single spell.

The reason she didn´t do that was that if Charlie would be delivered to the hospital wing,every teacher would eventually find out about what happened two days ago. And becose she knew how unfair it is when someone casts a spell on you and you don´t have the possibility of defending yourself. She knew it way better than anyone deserves to know. And she didn´t want to sink at his really low level unless it was the only option.


	5. Decision

Like always, the monday arrived way too soon. On a monday morning five minutes before the begin of History of Magic lesson,Tonks had already organized her books, the parchment and the inch were waiting for her to start writing. She was waiting for the lesson to start,becose sooner it would start,the sooner the day would end. Finally the bell rang and the others arrived.

After a long exhausting day Tonks went to the libary and read till closing. When she was walking towards the commonroom she heard people hanging around in the next stopped so she could listen.

"Did you hear?" she heard someone asking.

"Charlie met Tonks last weekend,but she was too scared of even giving him a revenge of that prank. How prefetic is that?"

The others laughed. Tonks didn´t want to hear anything else so she turned around and went the longer way to the commonroom. Becose it was so early,most of the people were still awake,and that´s why the commonroom was full. Tonks went straight to the dormitory which was peacefull and quiet. She had done all of her homework in the libary so she had nothing left to do. She was sitting in her bed and amusing herself by changing her look when she heard that the other girls had arrived.

"Do you think she´s in there?" she heard one of them asking.

"Oh,who cares." the other one answered. A half an hour later the girls were asleep. Tonks read quietly in the light of her wand and at midnight,fell asleep.

* * *

Early in the next morning Tonks woke up,took a shower and packed her schoolbag before anyone else had woken up. When she was packing she noticed that her diary was gone. She tought she had left it to the room of requirement and she decided to go there and take it during lunchbreak.

She walked to the great hall,ate her breakfast and then headed towards the wrote a answer to her mothers letter and sent it. She couldn´t completely understand why bother, since she didn´t have that much to write about. Every letter she wrote to them was basically the same. Almost every class went well except potions and after that she had nothing more to write about. And even though she never wrote anything about the other students, when the holidays started, she always had to listen the same annoying questions about how the girls were doing,and non-stopping questions about did she have a boyfriend.

Tonks left the olwry and walked back to the school. She went to the libary and by the time bell rang,she had learned every spell that professor Flitwick is going to teach them this week.

When the lunchbreak started Tonks went to the 7th floor,the room of requirement. Fifteen minutes later she left the room,frustated. She couldn´t find her diary from anywhere. She didn´t even want to start guessing where it might be,or what happens if it´s in the wrong hands. She went to the great hall. At the same time with eating she did all of the homework they were given so far.

When she was in the transfiguration couryard she saw a huge,laughing girl group and one of the girls reading a red book loudly to the others. Her heart almost stopped. She walked closer the group and whispered _"accio diary"_. The girls looked shoked when they saw how the book flew to Tonks´s hand. And after she had put the diary to her bag,she started casting spells to the girl who had read her secrets to entertain the others, and to the rest of the Hufflepuff girls. Most of the students were third graders or younger,so they didn´t really know how to duell,so thats why the most of the people were running away. Even though the four girls stayed and tried to protect eachothers, Tonks was still beating all of them. The girls had no chance against her,thanks to all the hours she had spent to learn these charms.

"What is going on in here?" a tight,angry voice asked. Professor Mcgonagall had arrived and the fight ended immidiatly.

"I have never seen such a behaviour from such a young girls. Follow me, all of you."

The girls,bruised and bleeding followed professor Mcgonagall to her room. Tonks knew that she is trouble, but she couln´t care less. She had just given these girls a little piece of the pain she had had during the past few years, and they deserved it all. She didn´t regret anything, nomatter what will happen.

" Sit." professor Mcgonagall said and waved her wand. Five chairs appeared and the girls sat down.

"What exactly happened?Who was the first one to cast a spell?" professor Mcgonagall asked.

"I was." Tonks said. "They stole my diary and they read it,when nearly every third grader girl where listening. I was angry so angry that I started fighting with them."

" And what the rest of have to say?" professor Mcgonagall asked from the rest of the girls. After their answer there was a moment of silence.

"Is this the only time,or has this kind of stuff happened before?"

"No,teacher." All of them said. After another silent moment professor Mcgonagall said,"Well,You girls are gonna apologize for actions, and all of you get detension. I will write letters to your parents. I am very dissapointed to all of you and I don´t want to see this happening again."

The girls apologized from Tonks, and then they were given a permission to leave.

Tonks went to a peacefull place, near lake where no one could see her. She sat down and watched the lake. If only she would have known that the only thing she will get from fighting is detension,she would have done this a long time ago.

_"But hey..Thats exactly what I should do!"_


	6. Good start of a really bad week

By the next tuesday Tonks had decided two thigs;

First,she is not going to let anyone to mess with her anymore.

And second, she is going to have her revenge soon.

She decided that the best way to get them is doing small things everytime she had a chance to. The first opputurnity appeared in the same morning when she was the only one in the dormitory. With a few simple spells she hexed all the sampoo botles and make up´s she found. Then she put them back carefully and left the room and headed to the libary. No one will ever have anything to prove that she is behind this.

When she was reading in the libary she noticed that Charlie was there with his friends. He was wearing quidditch clothes and her broomstic was in his hand.

"I have to go. Quidditch practise. I can´t be late." he said and started walking towards the door. Tonks muttered a spell. After Charlie had left she smiled. This is exactly what she had hoped for. Possibilities to make their life difficult,propably ending up embarrased, and the best part - they don´t know that someone did this to them. She couldn´t wait the schoolday tommorrow. She wanted to know how the trics had worked.

In the evening she went bed and watched the other girls sleeping peacefully. Tomorrow will be great. They had no idea about whats going to happen.

* * *

In the next morning she woke up early,like always,got dressed and took a walk around the lake. For once she wanted to eat at the same time with the other students, but she still wanted to act like she had no idea whats going to happen. She more than ignored if they found out, but didn´t want that to happen if its not walked to the great hall and sat down in to the Hufflepuff table. She was eating her breakfast when she saw the other Hufflepuff girls from the same dormitry entering the room. She barely managed to keep herself from laughing.

One of the girls had a face so full of pimples that she looked like she had a terrible allergy. The second one had a purple skin and green hair,and third one had her left hand in a sling. The fourth girl wasn´t with them.

When she was walking towards the Herbology greenhouses she saw Charlie explaining something to is brother.

"It´s is so not funny." she heard him saying.

"So your quidditch practise didn´t go well becose everytime you tried to ride your broom,it flew away from you???" Bill smirked.

"That IS so funny. Oh man,,I wish I´ve seen it."

Tonks pretend that she didn´t hear them and walked forward. When she knew no one couldn´t hear,she laughed. This has so far been the best day for a long time. She had almost forgotten what laughing feels like.

Few days went by. She managed to show her skills in the dinner on thursday. She created an invisible wall between the other fourth grader Hufflepuff girls and the great hall. Everytime when tried to enter the great hall,the crashed in to it. People looked amused when the girls falling and cursing,becose of nothing. When Tonks noticed profressor Flitwick walking towards them in the order on helping them, she took the spell of.

After the lessons, she walked away from the libary. She walked towards her secret hideout near lake when she saw Charlie walking towards her. Tonks ignored him but once he came closer he blocked the way.

"You´re in my way." she said simply.

"I just wanted to ask you something." Charlie muttered.

"Well what ever it is, I don´t care. Step aside." Tonks said dryly.

"Do you know what spell that makes things fly away from you?" he asked.

_"O-ou..Does he know..but how could he?" _

"Why do you ask?" she asked innocently.

"Well there is thing that happened to me and I wanna find a way to end it." Charlie answered.

"And you seriously are asking me to help you?" she summed.

"Well..yeah." Charlie looked embarrased.

"You cannot be serious. Give me one good reason why I would help someone I hate as much as you."

"Well..uhm..I.." he muttered. They both knew that there were nothing more to say. Tonks walked away. She couldn´t help but feeling relief. For a moment she tought that Charlie had figured out that she was the one who put a charm in to his broom.

* * *

Later in the evening,when Tonks should already be in the commonroom, Tonks walked in the hallway as quietly as someone as clumsy as her could, when she heard someone coming. She he managed to hide just in time,before those people went by. Hufflepuff girls she shared dormitory with walked slowly, talking exiticly with eachothers.

"I can´t believe that Rita Skeeter herself took our story. Thats the coolest thing ever. And she promised not to tell where she got it so no one can blame us." she heard one of them saying.

"And the chameleon girl has no idea. This is the best prank ever. I can´t wait to see her face when she reads he Daily Prophet tomorrow." the other one said.

"I know right. Tonks is going to be so pissed. She can´t prove it was us. And all of the names are changed. Yet still everyone knows that its about her." third one said and all of them they walked out of the hallway.

Tonks couldn´t move. She sat still and tried to shut the emotions away. But she couldn´t do that anymore. Suddenly, all of the pain she had had during the past few years was too much to handle. Tears started falling and soon she cried.

Half an hour later she felt herself strong enough to walk again. When she was passing by the third floor corridor,some one crabbed her hand and pulled her to an empty classroom.

"You shouldn´t be here in this hour."

Tonks turned around and looked in to Bill Weasley.

"You scared me." she said.

"Have you been crying?" Bill asked with a gentle voice, when he had noticed Tonks´s face.

"No." Tonks answered automatically,though she knew that since her eyes were still wet,there was no way Bill would believe her. It was just an automatic reaction when someone asked about her feelings, she was too used to it.

"You didn´t seriously think that I´d believe that,did you?" he asked.

"No, not really." she admitted. "Are you going to tell someone that I´m here?"

"No. I won´t. But you really should be more carefull. If someone finds out all of the times I´ve helped you then I´m going to be in huge trouble...So...Do you wanna talk about it?" he said.

"There is nothing to talk about." Tonks said simply.

"Then why are you crying?" Bill asked. "Look I know you don´t like talking about this kind of stuff, but you could try. Maybe I could help you."

Tonks hesited. "Well...I guess I could tell you. You´ll find out soon enough anyway."

And she told him everything about the conversation and how her secrets will be in Daily Prophet by the morning.


	7. Dream

"So there really is nothing you can do to help me." Tonks ended the story.

"I´m sorry to hear that. Buy you know,there is one thing you could do. But I don´t think you wanna do it." Bill said slowly looking at her.

"What is it?" she asked. She knew that that she should do everything she can, but there are limits.

"You could go talking with professor Dumbledore." he said slowly,hesitating.

"You´re absolutely right." Tonks controled the irony in her voice. Bill looked at her suprised.

"I don´t wanna do that." she continued,rolling her eyes.

Bill shook his head slowly. "I can´t exactly understand the way you´re thinking right now. So you actually prefer facing the humiliation than tell anyone about this?I mean, they are gonna find out sooner or later, it just doesn´t make any sense."

"Basically,yeah." she answered and took a few steps towards the door.

"Don´t worry. It´s not like this is the first time. I´ll be fine,I always will. I guess I should be used to it by now."

Tonks raised her hand to open the door.

"Wait!" Bill said quickly. Tonks turned around to hear what he had to say.

"What?" she asked.

"What about Charlie?" Bill asked."I don´t think you want him to read the Daily Prophet tomorrow."

_"Oh no,,,I complety forgot him! This is so not good." _

"I don´t. But what can I do?" she said."As much I hate the fact,it´s out of my hands."

"I can take care of him,if you think that would help." Bill offered.

" Yeah. It would." she turned around and opened the door. She hesitated.

"And Bill.." she took a deep breath.

"Thanks."

Bill smiled."No problem." Then he walked away from the room. Tonks stood still for a second and then she opened the door.

"Wait. How is it possible?" she asked, but Bill was gone.

* * *

Tonks walked towards the room of requirement, worrying about tomorrow. She couldn´t get peace from her thoughts. She went to bed but she had trouble falling asleep. Nomatter how hard hard she tried, nothing helped. At one a.m she already counted minutes to the breakfast time, when the mail would arrive.

It has been like this forever. She didn´t really understand why, but she never seemed to fit in nomatter where she was or what she did. She was just simply too different, or atleast thats what people seemed to think. The fact that she was always an outsider with no one to talk to, caused the low self esteem of hers,and the fact that she was afraid to show her emotions to others. And when she had stopped doing that, others only tought that she is could and unfriendly,which is complety the opposite of her true nature. Yet still she always felt like she couldn´t do anything the way she was supposed to.

It was propably the strong bursts of emotions/feelings,that came with being a fourteen year old teen,that made her think of the subject so much. Her opinions however always seemed to be different than the others,not wrong, not weird,but different. And thats why people didn´t ever really bother to get to know her,becose her way to think was usually the opposite of their. She had always been very mature for her age,and her interests were different too. She never attended parties,she never giggled in the backseats of the classrooms or anything else that others in her age usually did.

Sometimes,when her emotions were stronger,she had trouble with concentrating. When she tried to deal with things that made her uncomfortable,she couldn´t do it. Everytime when something bad happened, which in her life was pretty often,she further shut herself in. She knew it was not the right way to handle it,but she had done it so long,that she couldn´t remember how to do this differently.

The weirdest thing in her however was not her way to think,behave,handle herself or the fact she can change her apperiance at will.

Sometimes,when something unexepcted happened,or something made her feel worse than normal,there seemed to happen changes in her. It was not a desice. It was more like...like a part of her wouldn´t exicst. She didn´t feel anything. And she only noticed that when it returned. And when it did,all of the bad things felt like some sort of dream,rather than reality. When she remembered those things next time,it had been so long ago that it didn´t hurt. And in the lack of a better word,she called them dreams. That is also one of the reasons why it was rare thing for her to cry.

In those times,she often had,well,it´s not a dream,but something very ner that. That night she had one of those.

_ A young girl sitting in her room, reading. Suddenly she has a feeling that something is wrong. Few seconds later her door is opened by her parents. They say that she has to come with them right away without questions. She wonderes whats going on,but does what she is told. Outside of the house she hears a loud,screaming voice calling for her._

_The girl is playing outside and her mother calls her. She walks towards her._

_ "I thought you was suppose to be working today." she says while walking closer.  
_

_ "Change of plan. Come here" her mother says. She walks in front of the girl and stops._

_ "Do you have something to talk about? Girl asks. Her mother smiles._

_In that smile there is something diffent. It´s so much colder than usual._

_ "I´d rather leave talking to living people,which basically means youre talking days are over."_

_ "Youre not my mother. What have you done to her?" girl asks,scared._

_Womans appereance changes infront of her eyes._

_ "Polyjuice potion is usefull little potion you know." says this woman. Her hair is black and eyes dark,full of anger._

_A bright light,leads the girl into a world of pain. Before losing her conscinounes,she sees her real mother running towards the park throwing spells at this black-haired woman._

_

* * *

_

Suddenly she woke. The dream,,,it felt so real,,like she could feel the pain by just watching.

_"What is this?What´s happening to me?"_

She watched the alarm clock. It was 3.45 a.m. She sighed and and closed her eyes. She tried to find a reason for these dreams.

As far as she remembers her life,there always seemed to be something missing. It was like a missing puzzle piece that was suppose to make some sense in her life,but she had lost it. There were terms,when she couldn´t remember anything. Things she had forgotten.

Sometimes she thought that she is losing it,but deep inside she knew its not true, There seemed to be,however,something missing in her. There were times when everything went normal,and times when she felt like there was something going on she wasn´t aware of. Times,when she noticed that she had forgotten weeks,even months of her life.

Thinking about the dream and the humiliation the morning will bring,she fond asleep.

At seven she woke. She still had time to sleep but she couldn´t do it, so she got dressed and few minutes before the begin of the first lesson,she left the room,ready to face another terrible day full of sadnes.


	8. Bill comes to the rescue

Tonks went straight to the Transfiguration classroom and the bell rang in the second she had sat down.

_"Here we go."_

Students arrived and took their seats. She had already prepared to hear mean comments about the Daily Prophet story,but it never started. And soon professor McGonagall arrived and the lesson began.

Her next lesson was herbology,which is together with the Gryffindor students. But in that lesson no one said anything either. She put on notice that Charlie wasn´t even in there.

After the lesson she walked towards the Charms classroom. When she watched out of the window on her way there, she saw Charlie with a broom, walking towards the quidditch field. He was ditching classes just to play quidditch.

_"That boy should seriously re-think the order of his priorities."_

She had no time to stop,so she kept walking. When she was walking in the stairs one of the girls who walked past her put her leg in front of her,and she fell to the ground. They giggled when she stood up. And then she took her took a deep breath and kept walking like nothing had happened.

Professor Flitwick entered to the classroom. After he had collected their homeworks he taught them a new spell. Soon they started practising. The other students laughed and talked in their groups,but nomatter what she did,she couldn´t hear anyone talking about the article. Nobody seemed to know anything about the story and this was more than fine by Tonks,but somehow she didn´t believe this will last very long. Still she couldn´t but wonder what is going on.

After Charms Tonks had history of magic lesson, and again,nothing. It was starting to get weird. During the lunchbreak she went to the libary and read the Daily Prophet. And there it was. All of her most embarrasing secrets just waiting for people to read them. There it was indeed. But why doesn´t anyone seem to know about it?

Her next lesson was potions,which is already a horrible lesson as it is,there everything started to went wrong.

Did she expect that no one would read it.. of course not. But when no one seemed to notice this during the morning lesson, she had felt like there is still hope left. Imediatly when she arrived to the dungeons people startd picking her and laughing when she walked by. Of course,they had read it,,,what a suprise. She ignored every sarcastic joke about her and when Snape arrived the classroom was under a complete silence,as allways when Snape is on the hearing distance.

When they started working people walked by her as often as they could,and threw mean comments when they did. She tried to stay focused on the potion she was making,but she couldn´t keep her mind in it and thats why in the end of the lesson she already knew that there is no way she could fix the potion on time. When Snape had dissposed her potion and told her that he is going to be suprised if she ever gets past in the next potions test, they wrote down all of their homeworks and left the room.

When she walked away from the dungeons she was confused about the events of the day. She didn´t know why the Slytherins seemed so far being the only ones who had the article. When Hufflepuffs had heard Slytherins comments about it they had only seemed to think that they were talking about the day when the other Hufflepuff girls from her dormitory had read her diary to the other students. No one had a clue about the article, not even the girls who had sent it in the first place.

Tonks headed to the Great hall. She ate as fast as she could,trying hard not to hear the mean jokes of the Slytherins, and then she left the hall in a hurry. She went to the place near lake,where no one could see her unless she stood up or someone knew where she was. She made all of her homework and read the next few chapters on each subject to make sure she will know what there will be in her next classes.

After this she fell into her thoughts. She watched the beutifull sunset and tried to understand what had happened today. She couldn´t find a reason why almost everyone seemed to be unaware of the Daily Prophet article about her. After the sunset it was starting to get dark. She realized that she shouldn´t be there. She put all of her books to her back and stood up.

"Why am I not suprised to see you in here." someone said behind her. Tonks turned around and saw Bill.

"Hi." she replied.

"How are you holding up?" Bill asked gently.

"Well,could be worse. But still I would hope that this is all just a nightmare.I could wake up and everything would be fine." she found herself admitting.

"So,,,did it work?" he asked. They´re eyes met. Suddenly Tonks understood why almost anyone had no idea about the article.

"It was you??"she asked.

"But how did you do that??"

"A few simple memory spells...to every student except Slytherins.I left those near to the commonrooms. When they left the commonroom they all were under it. Unfortunatly I had no possibility to use it near Slytherins commonroom,becose Slytherin prefects would have found me out,but it was a long night anyway...But then again,maybe it´s a little less suspecting when there are students who aren´t under the charms I left." Bill explained.

Tonks wasn´t sure what she should say."But why did you do that?" she asked.

"I just tought that it would help. You´re under way too much stress and people are mean enough to you as it is." he answered.

"Thanks."

"No problem. Glad I could help, but you should get back to the castle. You´re not aloud to be here,you know."

Together they started walking towards the castle.


End file.
